Audio Technology - Issue 23

The customer is always right, right? It will come as no surprise to anybody who knows me that, piece-by-piece, I have been restoring my 1963 Futura coupe. And, it will also be no surprise that it has been a slow and expensive mission. The other day I was waiting in a vintage auto glass warehouse. It's the kind of place you will probably never go to. This is the only guy in the country (and probably the world) that cuts glass for my car, so I am a fairly captive customer to say the least.

The thing is that I have been waiting politely while the owner chats away to his mate on the phone and as far as I can tell they are just shooting the breeze. As I look around I notice one of those staff motivation stickers - the kind that remind you of the rules of business - this one reads: "the customer is not the reason for the problem he is the reason you get paid - remember the customer is always right, so get right on it!" I kinda smile as I realise the moron on the phone is probably the rocket scientist who stuck the sticker to the window and he knows I have been waiting for 20 minutes. Finally he serves me, gives me what I want and the price is okay. Everybody seems happy enough, except I drive off wondering about his sticker - "the customer is always right"... right?
 
Imagine you're mixing a song and the bass player is in your ear the whole session: "turn the bass up, I want more definition, make the bass punchier" etc. You explain that you are using nearfield monitors and the bass will be fine out in the real world. The bass player smiles and agrees and 10 minutes later he is back on your case: "I can't hear that note, turn up the kick". Sound familiar? I bet we have all been there, but apparently the customer is always right, so you spend way too much time trying to satisfy him and somewhere that perfect mix gets a little muddy, and a little lost. A couple of months later the band gets signed up and you're excited because you can't wait to record their new record. Only, the record label doesn't like the mixes you did, they think they're too bassy too boomy and there's no clarity in the drums. As I said, that's what the label really thinks... but you will never know because no one will ever tell you. In fact, the first you hear about it is right about now as you read this column and start to wonder... Anyway, the problem is you haven't been re-hired precisely because (against your better judgement) you tried to satisfy the customer and that customer had no idea of what he really wanted. So what do you do? Well, for the most part you take it on the chin and move on.
 
You cannot spend too much time feeling hurt or indignant about this stuff. You know that conversation - "that's what the band wanted" - well, if the mix is garbage then you just look like an amateur when you try and push that cart. As I said, you just have to take it on the chin. It might seem like your future is at stake every time your name is on a record but it's not really. People skills keep you working in this business, bizarrely, sonic skills run a slow second.
 
I am not telling this story for the hell of it. This kind of stuff has been happening to me for nearly 20 years. Admittedly it happens less and less, but I have always maintained that the customer is the source of my income and I have always guaranteed my work - the customer will always get what they want, even if they don't quite know what they want. I make sure they get a clear picture of the implications of their choices if they still want to swim in the murky water, then I throw them a lifejacket and suggest they hang on.
 
The key here is people skills. When that hypothetical bass player is asking for more bass, it's important to find out very quickly if he actually does want more bass - in my experience musicians have a very strange sense of timing, quite often it's another song done years ago that had the 'bass' problem and nobody will ever be allowed to 'shaft' that muso again. Nearly every day I find myself asking someone in the band: "do you want more 'XYZ' from your memory of the song or is it a result of what I just played you?". Most of the time the answer is: "Oh no, it sounded bad at home but it sounds good now you must have just fixed it". Most of the time I haven't even gone near their problem, all I've done is sorted out whether or not to follow their instructions - sometimes the customer is 'always right', as long as they are actually right.
 
I have a particular client who drives me to distraction. He is ultra and I mean ultra sensitive to mid and high frequencies. He is a first rate producer/engineer, and a damn perfectionist. The problem is he lives in an odd world that ignores pop culture, radio and television or at least anything but Triple J and his own record collection. This guy's records are constantly dull - always, and not by accident. In mastering we spend countless hours doing it on purpose, we go through a couple of references at the end of every session and when he's happy, we put the CD out. Every time I think and say that the 'record sounds dull' and we fight over 0.25dB at 3k - well we used to fight and now I just let him loose on the board because it's much easier. The trouble is, I don't think I'm doing either of us any favours. I know he loses jobs because of the tone of his work, and I definitely know I have lost work because people see my name on several of the records he produces. Some of those people have figured that's the sound my studio always makes when actually it is totally unrepresentative of my work. What do you do? Well, the customer is always right, so you improve what you can and take the rest on the chin. Nowadays I make sure he is actually the customer and not working against the customer's cause and sometimes things get a little heated, but slowly we are tweaking that tone.
 
Now, the interesting thing about this kind of problem is that you would assume nobody would knowingly let their record go out sounding flawed but let me give you a specific example that would make you tear you hair out. Several months ago I was asked to put together an urgent promo interview disc for a well-known country artist - she just won a stack of Arias so you go figure who I'm talking about. Anyway, I got the material on a Friday night and it had to go into production on Monday morning, they gave me a poorly (badly) put together interview disc and the unreleased album to intersperse with the interview. I am good at this stuff - I have done hundreds of them - the only problem is on the mastered album (mastered by one of the big USA guys) there is some very clear distortion on the vocals, and around the guitars. It is very clear in my mastering suite, and because the rest of the record sounds absolutely stunning I found it hard to believe the producer and the record label were aware of this fault. It sounded a lot like mastering distortion to me, the kind everyone complains about and the kind that is really easy to do - it is the kind you keep hearing and reading about. The thing was, I didn't want anyone to think I had created this distortion on the disc I was doing, so late on Sunday night after weighing up the pros and cons I had a chat to the manager just to let him know and maybe he should get the producer to give the album one last check before it goes out. Well, to cut a long story short, on Monday morning the manager, and the record label blast the hell out of me because this record has already presold 30,000 copies and is being released that morning. They can't hear a fault so there isn't one. I doubt if they told the artist or the producer that there may be a problem and to date that record with that tiny bit of distortion is celebrating record sales of (currently) around 300,000. It seems that actually the customer is always right even if they're wrong, pity.
 
If I were to distil all this, what I am getting at is this: although your name and your reputation is on the line every time you send something out into the world, you have to remember that your name is on the back cover in really little writing and the customer's name is on the front cover in really big writing. You might only be as good as your last record but your body of work and your professionalism is what will stand the test of time. The artist that is bugging you today may not be around next year, and if they last you will both laugh about how the first records sounded so bad. This is just how it goes, so I guess learn to take it on the chin. You think you messed up a mix because the client interfered with your skill? Next time give him a mix that is too good for them to make you mess up!
 
This kind of stuff used to be a problem for me once a week now it is a problem once a year. Just keep on making them as well as you can, and if the customer is messing with your career do what I do and charge them more money to compensate - they will either shut up or pay up and you can give your chin a bit of a rest.
 
I started this ramble talking about fixing my car and - at the risk of sounding a little cheeky (it can't hurt to ask): does anyone out there know a spray-painter/panel-beater who figures the customer is always right? Get him to call me so I can stop writing columns about my car - you'll be helping us both out.

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