Anyone got Irish blood?

[The Tasmanian]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy'..
Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'.

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off...
He falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the
stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls
flat on his face,

'Shoite, Shoite !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.

'Bi'Jesus.... I'm pissed,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,
hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside...
He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up the
stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes
a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'bu**er it' and
falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Mary, comes into his room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'


Paddy says, 'I did, Mary. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.'

[Chris H]

I've still got a shamrock in my mass book my uncle Paddy sent me in 1965 when i was 10. He was a runner during the 1916 uprising and copped a bullet in his thigh for his efforts. Emigrated to Australia and married my Dad's sister, cleared land out the back of Portland and also sunk many water bores from Portland to Belgrave. Plenty of Irish in me, The Ahearns from the Victoria Velley in the Grampians, The Western Districts version of the Kelly Gang..........why.......because they where Irish and the local cops where you know what. Oh well..........I am a direct descendant of those who starved in what is referred to as the great famine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Famine_%28Ireland%29
unfortunately most people have no idea of the historical reality of the suffering of the Irish people at the hands of the Brittish
.......... but I can still take a joke.

I feel the Irish heart in me
calling me back home
voices from me ancestry
reminding me of where i'm from

I hear the sound of a thousand feet
marching on through time
Uncle Paddy how are you
I think of you all the time

you where there in nineteen sixteen
a bullet in your thigh
I open me book and there it is
that shamrock is still mine

I feel the Irish heart in me
calling me back home
voices from me ancestry
reminding me of where i'm from.......

[heathen]

Not a drop in me. Nice one Chris.

This is no joke though, I used to work with a 2 Irish brothers and they definately lived up to the sterotypical "Paddy"in most Irish jokes. Anyway Padriag "Paddy", walked up to me and said in a heavilly Iorish accent. "Awwww look aaa der foony luttle spoider oi found". No joke I looked at Paddy's hand and he had a massive male Funnel Wed spider in his hand which had come from the cool room, they go dormant in there. Anyway I told him he had the worlds most venomous spoider in his hand and he says, "fookin nor way", I say "fookin yeah way ya bloody nutcase".

Anyway after a few minutes I convinced him to put his dormant spider into a glass jar and see if he's still so friendly in the morning. Paddy nearly had a heart attack when said spoider launched at the glass and wanted to bite him next morning. All I can say is I'm glad he did'nt find a nice friendly luttle Brown Snake to play with. Nice bloke though.

[Manning]

Australians seem to have a reputation as "hard drinkers" overseas, but it's undeserved - we're amateurs compared to the Irish and the Scots.

[mylesgm]

I shared a flat with an Irishman for a year and that guy knew how to drink. He'd drink me under the table with a three hour two fisted drinking head start and still be lucid whilst I was looking for ralph... Funny too. At one time my family lived next to an irish family and my dad and the irish chap would make homebrew. they'd make a couple of batches at a time and a week after they'd opened the first the irishman would have finished his lot off and Dad would have only gone through the first 6-pack. Yeah they know how to drink and if there was an job industry for drinkers their economy would be the best in the world.

[rick]

being an o'neil ,
you tink i would have learnt not to make fun of the irish

and you tink i would have learnt never to piss into the wind as well

I havent ...

must be the irish in me

[Drumstruck]

yeah, this dude was my grt grt grandfather

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=-Ku ... &q&f=false